No where to turn.....

I feel exposed.
I feel my crutch is broken.
I feel there is no escape suddenly.

What tragedy has pushed me to this point? Wednesday night I was out chasing the sunset......I hadn't even heard it calling my name, but decided to give it a try. I found the shot. It was so predictable....a windmill....wide-open spaces....just begging me to shoot it. I get out of vehicle....I frame it just right....I push the button. Instead of the comforting sound of a successful moment captured....it was more of a "cluck" sound.

Suddenly, the world began to spin out of control. My vision narrowed to where all I could see was the screen on the back of my camera....my BABY! "Error 30...cannot continue shooting". Nooooooooooooooooo.

Now, the next hours were spent whining, searching (google, of course), bargaining, and yes, praying.

All this over a camera? Let me try to explain....

My camera....and photography....is my escape. I love shooting moments for people. Family shoots....senior shoots....football games....capturing kids as they spin and giggle. Those shoots, though, have to be planned. I have to have people who will seek me out. Since returning "home" to West Texas, I've struggled with the business. In all honesty, I haven't put myself "out there" enough. My shortcoming...something I am working to remedy. So, when "people pictures" aren't possible, how do I satisfy my creative urges? Well....I get still.....and quiet....and I wait. I wait for the call. The call that says, "grab your camera and chase". Chase the sunset. Chase the beauty of this land.

And I usually obey the call. At times my riding partner is my droplet...my daughter Heather. She often has one question before we leave, "do I have to get pretty?" No, usually not. Recently, my son has been riding along. He and I tend to talk on these drives. Something I love! He sees photo ops and points them out to me. He and I share that. Heather and I talk, too. And sing. We sing loud and sometimes off-key. And giggle.

But with no camera, there is no way to answer the call. So I sit. And sulk. And wait for a calm moment to try out the You-tube tutorials that may...or may not....fix the issue.

So, I truly do pray there is a quick fix...or that our tax refund will cover a camera...or that I will be able to sleep through the moments that call me to come capture them.

In the meantime....here are a few shots from my recent shoots.....
















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